As I stepped out of the building, I looked up at the low overcast sky and thought to myself, “Dear God, just don’t let me have an emergency today.”

I was stepping to fly a T-38 as an instructor pilot in a formation training flight, and as you can probably guess, my prayer was NOT answered.  Just minutes before landing, the aircraft suffered from a malfunction that affected both the electrical system and normal extension of the landing gear.

My analysis of the malfunction was NOT my best performance, but my extensive training kicked in and the problem was handled correctly, despite my inability in the moment to diagnose the root cause.  

I should NOT have flown that day and my prayer walking out the door that morning should have been a clear sign of the action I needed to take…pull myself out of the flight.  

So why did I go you wonder.

Let me ask you this….have you ever been, or seen, an athlete that continued to play in a game despite clearly struggling with an injury?  I’m certain you have.  I will not pretend to know their reasons, but I can tell you mine, and I am not proud of it.

I was worried about what others would think.

There, I said it.  No one likes to be that person, the person who worries about what others think, we aren’t supposed to worry about that, right?  

The truth is, despite my intellectual understanding of that, I have accepted that it is a frequent battle of mine.  An enemy within.  Just as in war, it is difficult to battle an enemy you don’t understand or acknowledge.  Recognition gives you the power to take action.

Now consider this, is being concerned about what other think really always an enemy?

I believe the answer to that question is - it depends.

I have stopped shaming myself for having thoughts about what others might think, rather I recognize them and grab my weapons and armor.  Some days it helps me to defeat the false storyline I have created in my head, while other days, caring about what others think has proven to be a valuable tool in leadership.

Bottom line…your mental health matters and the only way to truly prioritize it is to be aware of it and take action when needed, even if it means taking the path less traveled.